Confessions
by serindraxx
Summary: when Lily discovers James is working in the same area she is, will their relationship be reaffirmed? or will Lily give up on James? Rated M for sexual content and language COMPLETE
1. Introduction lol

A/N: I know I'm starting too many fics that I haven't finished, but I was thinking of 'Confessions Part 2' by Usher and wondered whether I would be able to pass off a suitable story with it. So, all I can say is please try to read it, if you feel inclined to, and when you're done please drop a review.

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_These are my confessions_

_Just when I thought I said all I could say_

_My chick on the side said she got one on the way_

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Lily Evans looked up. She was now working at the Ministry of Magic as a secretary. And the last person she expected to see was James Potter, one of her old class mates. They had dated in the last year of Hogwarts, but Lily had decided to break it up before things got too deep.

But when she went to work, she noticed him in one of the offices, and her heart surged with an unfamiliar emotion. She started to stack invoices and stuff on her desk in the hopes that he wouldn't notice her, but it was a vain hope, because he did notice her. With her red hair, it wasn't that difficult _to_ notice her. He stood up, and walked out of the office, sparing her an inquisitive glance, to which she just nodded her head in answer to his unspoken question.

He looked at her and motioned to his office, and Lily stood up, knocking things to the floor. She received some stares, but it was nothing she couldn't handle. She followed James, and closed the door behind her back.

"So, you're working at the Ministry now?" James asked as soon as the door closed. Lily couldn't think of anything to say to this, so she just nodded. James ran his fingers through his hair in a distracted way, as if he didn't know what to think.

"Well, I'm not going to be in very long so I'm going to make this very brief. Are you going to be a secretary very long?"

Lily shrugged her shoulders, not sure when she was going to get a promotion.

"Okay, well, I have some things I need to do, so I'll talk to you later, kay, Lils?"

Lily shrugged again, feeling as though she were going to cry over something in James' voice. She turned around and headed toward the door. The last thing she heard was, "I'm going to pick you up about seven, Michelle, okay?"

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When Lily walked into her apartment later that evening, her best friend Alice was standing in the front room, waiting for Frank Longbottom, her boyfriend from Hogwarts.

Alice stopped smiling as she noticed the dejected look on Lily's face. "What happened, Lils? You look depressed."

"Why did I ever break it up with him?" Lily wailed, sitting on a chair and letting her shoulders slump.

"Who, James?"

"Yeah, why did I have to break up with him?" Lily said with despair in her voice. Alice knelt down in front of her.

Lily looked at her, and Alice had to smile. "You broke up with him, because you didn't want to be like all the rest of the girls James did," she answered, her blue eyes smiling.

"Yeah, well, that still doesn't make it any easier," Lily retorted, sniffing gently.

At that moment, the door bell rang and Alice stood. "There's Frank," she said excitedly. Lily laughed.

"Go answer the door, then, silly," she chastised gently.

Alice shook her head exasperatedly but answered the door. "Hi, Alice," came the unmistakable voice of Frank Longbottom.

Lily stood up and vanished from the room.

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_These are my confessions_

_Man I'm thrown and I don't know what to do_

_I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions_

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James walked into the apartment he shared with Sirius, feeling exhausted but not exactly sure why. He had been hoping to talk to Lily before he went on his date with Michelle. But she vanished before he could. Well, at least he could send her an owl, asking if he could see her after work.

"Prongs, old buddy, you're home. Wait, what's wrong? You look as though you'd just seen one of those white sheet things," Sirius commented from his spot in the kitchen.

"Nice of you to notice," James muttered. He walked into the bathroom and started shaving, trying not to nick himself in the process. Sirius walked in, making James look at him sharply. "What do you want?" he asked irritably.

"Just wanted to say hi to my best friend. What's gotten into you, Prongs?"

James shrugged. "Why do you think that something's gotten into me?"

"You're just acting very odd today. What has gotten into you?"

"Nothing. It's nothing," James said under his breath, and turned back to the mirror.

Sirius shrugged and walked out. James sighed, but then he started sharply. He'd just cut himself.

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When he stopped by Michelle's house two hours later, he couldn't stop thinking about a certain redhead he hadn't seen in two years, ever since she broke up with him.

His thoughts were interrupted when Michelle walked out. She was a pretty girl, with shoulder length hazel brown hair, and dark green eyes, not as bright though as Lily's.

_Why am I thinking of Lily?_ James asked himself. Again his thoughts were interrupted by Michelle, who was wearing a tight shirt that showed off her toned stomach to advantage. It was a type of shirt that Lily would never have chosen herself.

But he opened his door and got out, then walked around his car to open hers. She smiled at him, and got in. James walked back around to his side, where he climbed in and shut the door behind himself. "So, where do you want to go, Michelle?" he asked as he pulled out.

"How about we go dancing in one of the clubs I heard about?"

"Sure. Where is it?"

Michelle gave him directions, and then he was climbing out and opening her door.

As they walked into the club, they could hear strains of a song that James had never heard before, but obviously Michelle had. She was dancing when they walked through the door, making James wonder…

_I feel you creeping, _

_I can see it from my shadow _

_Wanna jump up in my comborghini Gallardo _

_Maybe go to my place and just kick it like Taebo_

_And possibly bend you over look back and watch me_

_Smack that all on the floor_

_Smack that give me some more_

_Smack that till you get sore_

_Smack that – ooh oooh_

James was shocked at the song, and the way that Michelle was dancing to it. She'd tried to get him onto the floor but he'd refused, wanting to wait till a certain song came on.

As he sat there, he saw the one person that he had not expected to see wearing tight clothes: Lily Evans. She was on the floor dancing as dirty as Michelle at the moment.

When the song was over, James tuned back in and realized that Michelle was talking to Lily as though she knew her. Lily was smiling and answering back as best she could before another song came on.

_Now everyone report to the dance floor_

_To the dance floor, to the dance floor_

_Now everyone report to the dance floor_

_Alright Stop!...Pajama time_

Lily started dancing again and she was as dirty as before, shaking her hips and raising her hands in the air. James sat back, refusing to dance with Michelle. She just shrugged and went back to the dance floor.

_Now I'm gonna make you dance_

_It's your chance_

_Yeah boy shake that ass_

_Oops I mean girl girl girl girl_

_Girl you know you're my world_

_Alright now lose it_

_(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)_

_Just lose it_

_(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)_

_Go crazy_

_(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)_

_Oh baby_

_(HA-HA)_

_Oh baby, baby_

_(HA-HA)_

Now James was really shocked and shook his head in dismay, finally blocking out the song completely.

When that song was over, both Lily and Michelle walked over to the table James was sitting at, talking animatedly.

But when Lily saw who was sitting there, she shied away and headed back to the dance floor, where another song was playing. James got up for this one, pulling Michelle along with him.

_8 o'clock, Monday night and I'm waitin' _

_To finally talk to a girl a little cooler than me. _

_Her name is Nona, she's a rocker with a nose ring, _

_She wears a two way, but I'm not quite sure what that means._

_And when she walks, _

_All the wind blows and the angels sing. _

_She doesn't notice me!_

James remembered this song because that was sort of the way he'd felt for close to seven years. He'd been chasing Lily for over six years when she finally went out with him. But then she broke up with him, using some excuse about not studying the way she should have been. It had broken James's heart to think of the look she'd given him. It looked as though she never had wanted to break up with him.

_Cause she is watchin' wrestling _

_Creamin' over tough guys _

_Listenin' to rap metal _

_Turntables in her eyes _

_It's like a bad movie _

_She is lookin' through me _

_If you were me, then you'd be _

_Screamin' "Someone shoot me!" _

_As I fail miserably, _

_Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want. _

_She's the girl all the bad guys want!_

James was still dancing but he was slowing himself down with a sudden thought. _Is Lily still wary of me?_

He looked toward the place she was dancing. He shook his head, and walked back toward the table he'd been sitting at. Michelle looked at him in exasperation but then she turned back toward the sound system and danced as dirty as before. Only James didn't notice.

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_If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all_

_Damn near cried when I got that phone call_

_I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do_

_But to give you part 2 of my confessions_

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A/N: okay, this is where I'm going to tell every body that I have no experience with clubs, so those of you who do have experience, please tell me if I had it correct. And I don't take credit for the music; they just worked out perfectly for the story. The first song is "Smack That" by Akon and Eminem, the second song is "Just lose It" by Eminem, and the third song is "Girl All the Bad Guys Want" by a band I can't remember at the moment. But please review! I live and breathe hearing from my readers!

Serindraxx


	2. In Club and Out Club lol

A/N: thank you, thank you, thank you! To all my wonderful reviewers! Lol but I am happy. Especially to all the reviewers who talked about my club scene. I just wish more people had reviewed. Now I won't bother you with any more chatter, except for one more thing. I'm going to be writing another fanfic, this time with James and Lily having never met, and it's based on "I'm in love (wit a stripper)" by T-Pain. So I might not update this one as often, just so you take note, and it's also going to be rated M for the same thing this one is. You might want to read it and you might not, that's your choice.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the plot. The song belongs to Usher and the characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

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_Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do_

_Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you_

_'bout that chick on part 1 I told ya'll I was creepin' with, creepin' with_

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As James walked toward the bar, he noticed that Lily was heading toward the table he was sitting at.

When he returned, Lily and Michelle were talking animatedly as though they had known each-other forever. Well maybe that was a bit exaggerated, but not all guys were as great at seeing emotional turmoil as females were. Though they liked to think they could.

As James approached, Lily looked at him, and he was sure she said under her breath, "Oh, fuck me!" but had arranged her features to something unrecognizable, and that made James wonder…

'What is she trying to hide? She still c-can't be in love with me can she?'

'Fuck, he's as good looking as ever. And Michelle is even prettier than I remember. Now what am I supposed to do?'

On the outside, one could feel the tension flowing palpably between the two. Each was trying to hide their thoughts from the other, and even Michelle was getting edgy from all the tension. Finally, she broke the silence. "Well, I'm off to the dance floor. Lily, it was good seeing you again. You're as stunning as ever. See you, later, James!" and before either one of them could say anything, vanished onto the dance floor, leaving a very uncomfortable silence behind.

Then, they both spoke at once. "You know Michelle?" "You're going out with my best friend?"

Lily looked at James, and then she looked at her feet, which were covered with sandals, and her toes showed.

"Umm, you go first," she said unsteadily. She looked up, and saw something hidden in the hazel of his eyes, something she thought she would never see again. 'Is he still in love with me? Even after I lied to him?'

"Yes, I'm—wait; did you say your best friend?" James asked in shock.

Lily nodded her head sadly, but she had a feeling something good was about to happen; even though she couldn't say how. "Yeah, we've been friends since I started at Hogwarts about eight years ago. So I think that answers your question."

James shook his head. How could he _not_ know that? Even so, Lily had a lot of friends, and he was never sure of their names half the time. He remembered Alice and her boyfriend Frank Longbottom. Frank had been on the Gryffindor house Quidditch team, and had played as a chaser alongside James.

"When did you get back together?" James could have whacked himself on the forehead for that stupid question. They'd gotten back together tonight on the dance floor. He'd seen it.

"So, do you love her?" Lily asked curiously, while she felt a tightening of her heart. She could barely breathe for hurt. She looked down.

James saw a hurt look cross her face and his suspicions were confirmed. She still loved him and was depressed because she worried that he didn't love her anymore.

He shook his head at such a folly and raised her chin so she was looking him in the eye. "There's only one person I've ever loved and I'm looking at her right now."

Lily's eyes widened. She hadn't expected to hear that, James figured. He looked toward the dance floor, where Michelle was dancing with—Sirius.

Now Lily looked where his eyes were leading and chuckled under her breath. "Michelle's had a crush on him since Seventh year. She was just too afraid to ask him out. She was in Ravenclaw, you know," Lily supplied, as she noticed his questioning look.

"Oh," was faintly heard coming out of James' mouth. Lily shook her head in amusement as she watched Michelle trying to get close to Sirius, who was looking rather scared, as though he didn't know what to do in case

James noticed.

Lucky for both of them, James let it go, as he was with the one person that he did love. He pulled Lily out to the dance floor with him, where a song was playing, and the same song that they danced to when Lily realized she loved James.

_So she said what's the problem baby_

_What's the problem I don't know _

_Well maybe I'm in love (love) _

_Think about it every time_

_I think about it_

_Can't stop thinking 'bout it_

_How much longer will it take to cure this_

_Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (love) _

_Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love_

_Come on, come on _

_Turn a little faster_

_Come on, come on _

_The world will follow after_

_Come on, come on _

_Cause everybody's after love_

As Lily twirled back into his arms, she fell against his hard chest. As she gasped, James pulled her closer to his body. She could feel something that should not have been felt. At least not right now. Damn, he was aroused by her for some reason. And she didn't know why.

_So I said I'm a snowball running _

_Running down into the spring that's coming all this love _

_Melting under blue skies _

_Belting out sunlight _

_Shimmering love _

_Well baby I surrender _

_To the strawberry ice cream_

_Never ever end of all this love_

_Well I didn't mean to do it _

_But there's no escaping your love_

At the end of the song, Lily walked with James back to his table, where Michelle sat waiting for them. She grinned at Lily, and looking at James, said, "James ready to go?"

James nodded, but said under his breath to Lily, "I'll see you at work tomorrow. I have something to ask you."

"Okay, bye," Lily agreed and walked back over to her table, where she grabbed her purse and car keys, and headed toward the door.

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_Said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it_

_The first thing that came to mind was you_

_Second thing was how do I know if it's mine and is it true_

_Third thing was me wishin' that I never did what I did_

_How I ain't ready for no kid and bye bye to our relationship_

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The next day, when Lily walked into work, the first thing she saw was James sitting on her desk. As she approached, James motioned toward his office, where the door was conveniently closed. She nodded her head, and followed him in.

"Okay, here's what I've been thinking about since yesterday. I know that Michelle's been going out with Sirius for awhile now, behind my back. So I was thinking, since we went out for the whole year the last year of Hogwarts, would you pretend that you were asked to become my secretary and go out with me?"

As Lily listened to him with rapt attention, she felt a faint fluttering in her chest, one she thought she would never feel again. She agreed without realizing it.

James looked pleased about something, and she wasn't sure what, but as she headed toward the door, he said, "Thanks, Lils."

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_These are my confessions_

_Just when I thought I said all I could say_

_My chick on the side said she got one on the way_

_These are my confessions_

_Man I'm thrown and I don't know what to do_

_I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions_

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A/N: okay, that concludes chapter two of 'Confessions.' Please review and please read the fic mentioned in the first A/N. And review!

Serindraxx


	3. Choosing for bad or good

A/N: thanx one and all for the reviews I got. I will try to answer your questions as well as I can within the chapter. Um, and please review!

Serindraxx

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_If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all_

_Damn near cried when I got that phone call_

_I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do_

_But to give you part 2 of my confessions_

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Lily drove home, her mind whirling. What was James thanking her for? Was he asking more from her than she realized? When she reached her apartment, she automatically went inside and, heading toward the shower, heard something she was unaccustomed to hearing.

It sounded like it came from the living room, but Lily was too tired to look. She stripped as she started the shower, and looked at herself in the mirror above the sink.

She was amazed at what excitement did to her expression. It changed her entire facial appearance. It made her more curious about her feelings for James.

As she stood under the flow of the water, hr mind started racing, trying to think about why James would thank her.

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_Sittin here stuck on stupid, tryna figure out_

_When, what, and how I'mma let this come out of my mouth_

_Said it ain't gon' be easy_

_But I need to stop thinkin', contemplatin'_

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James came home later that evening, trying to decide what to do about Sirius and Michelle. Should he continue letting them do what they were doing, or should he just tell Michelle that he knew what she was doing?

Maybe he should just let it go, considering he was doing the same thing.

Hmmm, well I think I'll just let it go and act like I had no idea what Michelle was doing, James thought to himself as he walked into the apartment he shared with Sirius.

As he walked past the sitting room, he heard something that he felt sure was a feminine sigh; followed by a very unmistakable male groan. He was not sure that he wanted to walk in on that, so he decided that a cold shower would be just what he needed.

He headed upstairs, away from the sounds from the sitting room and toward the shower. As he stepped under the spray, his mind started to wander; after awhile, his mind latched onto the subject he'd been pondering for hours.

How was he going to convince Lily that he still loved her, and that Michelle could never replace her?

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_Be a man and get it over with (over with)_

_I'm ridin' in my whip_

_Racin' to her place_

_Talkin' to myself_

_Preparin' to tell her to her face_

_She open up the door and didn't want to come near me_

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The next morning, as Lily got her things together for work, she heard the sound of noise in the hall. She decided to pack when she came back, and headed downstairs.

The sight of suitcases and extra stuff hanging by the door was sufficient to give her pause.

She looked up as Alice walked into the hall, trying to check that she had every thing she needed.

"And where do you think you're going?" Lily asked, placing her hands on her hips.

Alice jumped; apparently she had been thinking that Lily was still in bed.

She looked up guiltily. "Um, well… uh, Frank asked me last night to marry him, and I uh kind of said yes, so…," she stopped abruptly as Lily started laughing.

"What is so funny? I don't find anything funny about this," Alice said indignantly.

"I'm not laughing _at_ you, I'm laughing _for_ you," Lily said, putting as much emphasis as she could while laughing. "Can't you tell between happiness and laughter?" she asked, as she caught her breath.

"No I can't, Lily, you are always serious," Alice said indignantly.

Just then the clock in the hall went off. Lily looked up, and then glanced at her watch. She clapped her hand to her forehead, and rushed toward the door. "I'm late again," she said, forgetting her bag upstairs till Alice mentioned it.

She rushed upstairs, grabbed her bag and ran out the door.

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_Talkin' to myself_

_Preparin' to tell her to her face_

_She open up the door and didn't want to come near me_

_I said "one second baby please hear me" _

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James looked up from the phone as his office door opened. "Michelle, what are you doing here?" he asked incredulously as she kissed him on the cheek.

"What do you think I'm doing here?" she asked right back, sitting on his lap, and making him very uncomfortable.

"I thought you were going shopping today, which is why I was surprised, babe," James said, running his hands down her arms.

"James, here are the invoices you asked for," Lily said, walking in. she stopped short, taking notice of her best friend for the first time that morning.

"Oh, thanks, Evans," James said, professional at once. Michelle slid off his lap and stood up, fixing her skirt.

"Well, I'll see you tonight hon," Michelle said, kissing James and walking toward the door.

"Yeah, I'll see you later," James responded as the door closed.

Lily picked up the invoices she'd dropped in surprise, and stood straight. James looked tired, she reflected as she placed the papers on his desk.

"Lily, why do you look so worried?"

"Huh? Oh, I don't know, it just struck me as odd that you would call me Evans after all these years," Lily thought up quickly, feeling her cheeks warm.

James shook his head, knowing she was lying somewhere in there. He didn't know how close he was to the mark, and Lily didn't speak her thoughts.

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Michelle wasn't exactly early and she wasn't exactly late. But she wasn't at dinner the time James had specified. In fact, she was busy doing something; her mother said when James called to find out where she was.

Just as James hung up, the sound of Michelle's coupe engine was heard. James sighed in irritation; his mind had been on someone totally the opposite of Michelle.

"James, sorry I'm late," Michelle said as she sidled in the doorway.

"It's fine; I didn't even notice," James said, taking off his glasses and cleaning them.

Michelle placed her hands on her hips, but before she could say anything, her cell went off. She answered it with her usual, "Hello. What?"

As Michelle talked, James felt lost and decided to dial Lily's cell number.

"Hey, what's up?" Lily said brightly, making James think something was worrying her.

"Oh, nothing," he said, brushing the thoughts forming in his head aside. "Well, I'm a little irritated with Michelle at the moment; but that's to be expected," he finally stated, his eyes watching his girlfriend.

"You lettin' her get away with what she's been doin'?" Lily asked.

"Well, yeah, considering I'm doing the same thing," James sighed.

He could almost see the smile in Lily's voice as she said, "Yeah? Well, that's interesting, because…" her voice faded for a second and then she said, "James, I'm sorry but Alice is leaving tomorrow and I promised to help her pack. Talk to you later." The phone went dead.

"Yeah, wonder when later is," James muttered as he hung up the phone.

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_These are my confessions_

_Just when I thought I said all I could say_

_My chick on the side said she got one on the way_

_These are my confessions _

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A/N: okay, I answered as much as I could through the chapter, but if you really have any questions, send me a PM, or an email would be welcome. Check my profile; my email's on there. As always, please review!

Serindraxx


	4. Am I Pregnant?

A/N: okay, just wanted to thank all who reviewed! Anyways, um thanks.

Disclaimer: you know that I own none of this, so do not ask.

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_These are my confessions_

_Man I'm thrown and I dont know what to do_

_I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions_

_If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all_

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"_Yeah, wonder when later is," James muttered as he hung up the phone. _

Michelle looked over at him as she heard the dial-tone. "Are you ready to eat?" she asked cautiously, her green eyes worried.

James looked up in surprise. He had forgotten she was in the room. "Yeah, I suppose," he muttered, standing up. He took Michelle's hand, and lead her to the kitchen to grab something.

"I'm not much of a cook," he said, raking his hands through his messy hair. Michelle giggled. She knew he wasn't a cook, she had sensed it at school.

"Come on, I have something better to do then eat," she said, grabbing his hand and dragging him upstairs.

"Michelle, I…" James started to say, but changed his mind.

"Come on, James, lighten up," Michelle said. She shook her head as James just stood by his bed, looking apprehensive.

"Are you sure? And do you have protection?" he asked, trying to remember if he had any himself.

Michelle rolled her eyes. "Of course I have protection. Since when have you been concerned?"

James couldn't think of anything to say to that so he kept quiet.

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_If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all_

_Damn near cried when I got that phone call_

_I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do_

_But to give you part 2 of my confessions_

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When Lily hung up, she felt bad for lying to James. Yeah, Alice was leaving, but she had never promised to help her pack anything.

She had lied to keep herself from finishing something she had desperately wanted to say.

It was bad enough she had decided to lie with James about his idea.

_Ugh! Why did I say yes? _She thought, placing her head in her hands. _What's next? Having an affair with him?_ She shuddered.

"Lily, I have everything—are you okay?" Alice asked with concern, having seen Lily shudder.

"Yeah, everything's great, Alice," Lily said, putting on a smile. It felt fake and it obviously looked fake, because Alice said, "Don't lie, Lils, something is obviously bothering you. Spill."

Lily sighed. "Alice, I- I uh, well," and she told Alice everything that had happened since she went off to the club.

Alice listened, and then she said, "Well, if you want to know what I think, you should just keep up the pretense, because what I heard from Remus was that Sirius was doing something like that behind James' back. I think with his girlfriend ("Who just happens to be one of my old friends," Lily muttered under her breath)," Alice stopped for breath, giving Lily time to collect her thoughts.

"It's just that I've been feeling guilty for lying to James just now and…" her voice faded. A few seconds later she said, "Alice, thanks for talking with me. I think I'll go to bed now," and escaped.

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_I'm ridin' in my whip_

_Racin' to her place_

_Talkin' to myself_

_Preparin' to tell her to her face_

_She open up the door and didn't want to come near me_

_I said "one second baby please hear me"_

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The next morning, Lily woke up with a migraine. She groaned and placed her head under her pillows.

"Lily, I'm leaving," Alice yelled, opening Lily's door. Lily groaned in response.

"Sorry, Lils, didn't mean to shout," Alice said quietly.

"It's fine, I just have a migraine, that's all," Lily groaned sitting up.

"Well then, I'm terribly sorry," Alice sighed, rubbing her hands over her face. "I'm guessing you're not going to work then," she continued.

"Work?!" Lily's head spun as she sat up. "Oh, damn!"

"I'll call in and say you're sick," Alice said, walking toward the door.

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_These are my confessions_

_Just when I thought I said all I could say_

_My chick on the side said she got one on the way_

_These are my confessions _

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"She's sick?! How can she be sick?!" James asked incredulously when Alice told him Lily was sick and couldn't come in.

"Yes, she's sick! And don't shout, you're giving me a headache," Alice confirmed. She wasn't lying about her headache. It was pounding from all the shouting James did over the phone.

"Well, tell her that this had better not be contagious or she'll be in bed for the next week," James said, lowering his voice.

Alice wasn't sure, but she thought she heard real concern in James' voice.

_Nah, I was just thinking I heard it_, she thought as she hung up.

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_Said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it_

_The first thing that came to mind was you_

_Second thing was how do I know if it's mine and is it true_

_Third thing was me wishin' that I never did what I did_

_How I ain't ready for no kid and bye bye to our relationship_

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Lily looked up at about three o'clock that afternoon, having heard the doorbell ring.

_I wonder who that could be_, she thought, getting out of bed and grabbing a bathrobe.

"Lily, will you open this damn door?" said a voice Lily would have recognized within two seconds flat.

_What's James doing here?_ She thought, pulling her robe tighter around herself before opening the door.

"I thought Alice said you were sick, you don't look it," was his greeting in a gruff voice.

"Well, I was, but it was only a migraine," Lily answered, trying not to smooth her hair back.

"Okay, that's a relief; at least I know it wasn't something contagious then," James muttered, before giving into an impulse and kissing her.

Lily hardly had time to get over the shock of it before James let her go. Lily moved backward, trying to keep at least two feet of space between them.

James walked forward purposefully, noticing a pile of luggage in the hall.

He asked her about it. "What's with the luggage?"

"Like I said last night, Alice is leaving. Apparently Frank asked her to marry him," Lily smiled.

James grinned uncertainly. He looked at the sitting room with keen eyes, noticing things were out of place, like pictures and such.

_Kind of like my sitting room_, he thought, seeing Lily's frown.

"So, do you like Frank?" he asked, keeping his tone light. Afraid of what could happen if he didn't.

"Well, yeah I do," Lily responded in surprise, color coming to her cheeks.

James had just decided to ask whether they were just going to stand and talk, when Lily took the matter out of his hands.

"Okay, let's sit down, because I'm starting to feel faint," she said, sighing gently.

James took a seat right in front of her, kind of feeling a sense of deja'vu. "Why do I feel we've sat like this before?" he asked, rubbing his temple.

"Maybe because we have?" Lily answered, laughing a little.

"Yeah that could be it. Hmm, why don't we just sit on the couch?"

Lily shrugged a shoulder, scooting over so James could sit next to her. Big mistake, because she started feeling sweaty and her heart beat had quickened.

But the next thing she knew, she was lying on her back, her hands up in front of her. James was leaning over her, smiling gently. Her hands started to move over his chest. James kissed her fingers as they touched his lips.

Lily smiled gently, feeling as though she might explode.

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_Sittin here stuck on stupid, tryna figure out_

_When, what, and how I'mma let this come out of my mouth_

_Said it ain't gon' be easy_

_But I need to stop thinkin', contemplatin'_

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For the next couple of weeks, as soon as Alice moved out, Lily and James had an affair. Lily seemed to feel she was doing something for herself rather than hurting Michelle and James' relationship.

Until Lily started feeling more tired than normal. She set up an appointment to the local hospital, where Remus Lupin worked.

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_Damn near cried when I got that phone call_

_I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do_

_But to give you part 2 of my confessions_

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A/N: okay, end of the chapter. Now you will have to wait till next chapter to find out why Lily's feeling more tired than normal. Lol well as always please review!

Serindraxx


	5. Confessions?

A/N: well here's next chapter. Read and review please!

Disclaimer: no I don't own any of this, so don't ask!

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_Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do_

_Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you_

_'bout that chick on part 1 I told ya'll I was creepin' with, creepin' with_

_Said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it_

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Lily set up an appointment with Remus to get a pregnancy test.

On the day in question, Lily was going through what she was sure was morning sickness. "How the hell am I supposed to get to the hospital for my appointment if I keep having to run to the bathroom every five minutes?" she asked herself in annoyance the seventeenth time she did this.

She did manage to get to St. Mungo's for her appointment. When Remus heard of her symptoms, he nodded with a smile.

"Should I ask whose baby it is?" he questioned; Lily started to blush.

"Ahhh, say no more, your face does enough talking," he said wisely.

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James still didn't know; Lily had made Sirius promise not to mention it. Remus was also under her thumb.

Remus shrugged when she requested it. "Yeah, whatever, Lils, but he will have to know eventually," he said.

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_The first thing that came to mind was you_

_Second thing was how do I know if it's mine and is it true_

_Third thing was me wishin' that I never did what I did_

_How I ain't ready for no kid and bye bye to our relationship_

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"I know James has to know, but I don't want to destroy what's left of his relationship," Lily whispered to Remus over the phone.

"What's the big deal with telling James?" Remus asked, as seriously as he could, with Sirius on the other phone line.

"Well, for one thing, he still has a relationship to worry about, and one of my best friends is involved," Lily replied. She sighed. "What will Michelle say to this?"

"Um, Lily," Sirius said in a quiet voice, "Michelle and I have been going out for months now, I'm surprised she hasn't told you."

"What?!?" Lily shrieked.

"Yeah, well," Sirius hedged.

"Okay, okay, I get it; I'll drop the subject, 'k?" Lily teased, her voice laced with as much mischief as she could muster. "Guys, I-I have to go, nature calls," she said suddenly, as a wave of nausea struck her.

She decided after she cleaned up that she was going to get this over with.

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_Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do_

_Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you_

_'bout that chick on part 1 I told ya'll I was creepin' with, creepin' with_

_Said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it_

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Michelle picked up the phone. "Hello?" she asked curiously, because hardly ever did she get to answer the phone anymore. It wasn't like James to leave the phone ringing.

"Michelle, how are you?" said a voice that sounded very familiar.

"Lily! We haven't had that talk you promised me we'd have. How are _you?_" she squealed, making James get off the couch in surprise. He hadn't expected Lily to call.

"Well, Michelle, I have been busy you know, what with work and stuff around the house. But I kind of didn't call to talk to you; I was calling because I needed to talk to James. Business stuff," Lily said urgently.

Michelle shrugged. "Just remember that we need to talk sometime soon," she said and handed the phone to James, who had come up behind her. "I'm going out with some of my friends, James," she explained in a whisper. James nodded, showing he understood and Michelle left.

"Michelle never hands the phone over that quick," James said in greeting. "And this is obviously not a business call," he added, when Lily was silent.

Lily sighed. "No, it's not," she said. Her tone was odd; something James had never heard before. Almost as if she was scared or worried.

"Lily, what's the matter?" James asked her, trying to get her to open up.

"James, I-I'm pregnant," Lily said making James stop still in silence. Then James heard the sound of the dial-tone.

"Damn it," he muttered, and hung the phone up. He snagged a jacket off the coat rack and headed toward the door.

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_I'm ridin' in my whip_

_Racin' to her place_

_Talkin' to myself_

_Preparin' to tell her to her face_

_She open up the door and didn't want to come near me_

_I said "one second baby please hear me"_

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Lord Voldemort was chuckling softly when he heard the news. "Miss Evans is pregnant," he hissed maliciously. "And Mister Potter is off to protect her. Well, well."

"My Lord, you seem pleased," said a voice with slight sneer. "Would you like us to take care of them?"

"I believe I have found a weakness in Mister Potter. Yes I believe so. I was thinking it was perhaps Miss Connors, as he has been dating her. Now I see I was wrong. How wonderful this news is," Lord Voldemort hissed. "Soon Mister Malfoy, you may do whatever you wish with them, but for now…" the cold voice trailed off, leaving Malfoy with a sneer so brilliant, one could have died just staring at it.

"Soon, we will have them," Voldemort said.

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_Sittin here stuck on stupid, tryna figure out_

_When, what, and how I'mma let this come out of my mouth_

_Said it ain't gon' be easy_

_But I need to stop thinkin', contemplatin'_

_Be a man and get it over with (over with)_

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When James finally reached Lily's place, it had begun to rain.

Not today, not today, James chanted in his head. But it began anyways.

"Lily, please open up," he said ringing the bell incessantly.

"I'm coming I'm coming," he heard from the other side of the door, and the lock clicked.

The door opened, but when Lily saw who it was, she seemed to recoil, almost as if she didn't want to see him.

"You know, it's rude to leave a man on the doorstep," James said, trying to dispel the tenseness in the air.

"Especially when it rains," she said, but she still didn't appear to move.

"One second, Lils, please just talk to me," James said, as she turned to leave.

"Damn it, why does this remind me of a song?" she asked herself out loud. She turned around and stepped out of the way.

"What song?" James asked out of curiosity.

"Confessions Part 2," she muttered. "Usher."

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_These are my confessions_

_Just when I thought I said all I could say_

_My chick on the side said she got one on the way_

_These are my confessions_

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A/N: well there you go. Chapter five, with some bits of a twist added. Please read and review!

Serindraxx


	6. curse pleasure

A/N: thanx to InvisibleLilacNights and Brianna24 for reviewing! I really appreciate it. Well read on please!

Disclaimer: don't own, don't want.

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_Man I'm thrown and I dont know what to do_

_I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions_

_If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all_

_Damn near cried when I got that phone call_

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"What song?" James asked out of curiosity.

"Confessions Part 2," she muttered. "Usher."

"Usher? Isn't he that singer that you always listen to at work?" James asked as the name dawned on him.

"Yeah, well, you reminded me of 'Confessions Part 2,' when you appeared on the doorstep, jeez," she said, smiling a bit, and turned to her stereo system. She flicked her wand at the CD player. The sounds of Usher's 'Burn' came on.

_Girl, understand why_

_See it's burning me to hold onto this_

James smiled as well, and sat with her on the couch. "You know, I think this song fits Michelle and I," he murmured in her ear. She nodded her head.

I wonder if James knows that Michelle's been shagging Sirius behind his back, she thought, laying her head on his shoulder.

_I know this is something I gotta do_

_But that don't mean I want to_

"James? I have a better song that would fit your current situation," Lily murmured, and waved her wand.

_Baby come here and sit down, let's talk_

_I got a lot to say so I guess I'll start by_

_Saying that I love you,_

_But you know, this thing ain't been_

James raised an eyebrow. Hmmm…

_No walk in the park for us_

_I swear it'll only take a minute_

_You'll understand when I finish, yeah_

_And I don't wanna see you cry_

_But I don't wanna be the one to tell you a lie so_

"You certainly seem to know your music, Lils," he said but when he looked down, she was asleep.

Things were going to start going downhill from there, but James didn't know that as he fell asleep next to his Lilyflower.

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_These are my confessions_

_Just when I thought I said all I could say_

_My chick on the side said she got one on the way_

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When James woke up again it was already five fifteen in the evening. The rain had stopped thankfully, but it was slippery underfoot.

When he finally got to his apartment, Michelle was back, and she appeared to have been pacing frantically.

"James you made it home!" she squealed, nearly squashing him in a fierce hug that took him by surprise.

"Yes Michelle, I'm home, but I won't be if you keep squeezing me," he said, and she let go. Her face turned bright red as James took in her figure. Something was weird here, he thought, and then pushed the thought out of his mind as the phone rang.

"James! We were worried sick about you, man. Where were you?" Sirius asked the moment James said hello.

"Where do you think? I was in the office taking care of some rampaging hippogriffs," James said.

"Rampaging hippogriffs, huh? Doesn't sound like something you would do," Sirius said thoughtfully. "I thought it might have something to do with Lily. You know she called here the other day," he added quickly before he asked to talk to Michelle.

James handed the phone over to Michelle as what Sirius had told him ran circles around his head.

Why would Lily call over to Sirius and Remus? He thought, trying to shake the suspicion that it was Remus who had talked Lily into telling him.

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_I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do_

_But to give you part 2 of my confessions_

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Malfoy was getting impatient with his Master's delay. He wanted to take out the very person who had made his stay in Hogwarts a living hell. Damn it, he even wanted to take out the filthy Mudblood who had tried protecting him from the Marauders.

When Malfoy was invited to the Potters' Christmas party, he trusted his Master's judgment. Voldemort had configured a plan that was foolproof, as long as Snape didn't ruin it.

"My Lord, I could take a few _trustworthy _death-eaters and take out Potter and Evans, rather than go to this party I have been invited to, and you know it," Malfoy said as he bowed respectfully. Snape didn't miss the intended hiss on the word trustworthy, and neither, apparently, did Voldemort.

"You will follow my plan exactly or you will feel the wrath of Lord Voldemort. Or would you rather not go along with the plan at all? An interesting idea," Voldemort hissed in a cold voice.

Snape could feel a chill in the air, almost as if Lord Voldemort could feel his fright. This would not do. He didn't want his deception found out.

Damn it, he had to tell somebody about this.

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_Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do_

_Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you _

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Lily was leaving the office late one evening, thinking about the little one inside her. James was getting paranoid, getting worried about the child's safety. He had offered to stay behind and wait for her, but Michelle had appeared then and literally dragged him out of the office.

"Going somewhere, Mudblood?" sneered a voice Lily would have known even in her sleep. She turned around and came face to face with a hooded figure.

Almost on instinct, her hand went to her wand, but it appeared to be missing. "Shit," she said, and looked up in time to see her wand pocketed.

"Looking for this, my dearly stubborn bitch?" Malfoy snarled, making an advance on her.

"As a matter of fact, yes I was," she said, backing toward the closed office door, and instinctively reached behind to the door knob. _James, where are you?_ She thought, trying to keep an eye on Malfoy's wand and not let him have the advantage.

"Lord Voldemort is thoroughly put out that he couldn't come see the fun himself, but he sees the excellence behind my being here alone," Malfoy continued, in a very bored sort of voice, but looking in the steel gray eyes, Lily saw maliciousness and contempt behind the bored tone.

As Lily stood with her back to the office door, Malfoy hissed in pleasure at her helplessness. Malfoy was going to do something unwanted to her, even when he apparently knew she was pregnant.

Malfoy was not James, she thought, and she closed her eyes against the pain in her breast. In the second she closed her eyes, Malfoy had raised her wand and said some kind of curse, and she felt her world going black.

The last thought she had was: 'James, why weren't you here?'

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_These are my confessions_

_Man I'm thrown and I dont know what to do_

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A/N: well, that concludes chapter six. Please review, I would really appreciate it. (But if you don't, I shall send a curse as soon as I find a big enough envelope.)

Serindraxx


	7. Muttering 'James'

A/N: please let me know what you think of this chapter. I get tired of writing chapters ahead but no one reviewing them; just FYI.

I also forgot to put a disclaimer on those songs I used last chapter. I own neither one, Usher owns Burn and Chris Brown owns Say Goodbye.

Disclaimer: I don't own the idea, Usher owns Confessions and JK Rowling owns the characters.

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_Damn near cried when I got that phone call_

_I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do_

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When James heard about the attack on Lily, he wanted to rush directly to her side. The paramedics wouldn't let him near her, but they did promise to let him know when she was stabilized.

"Prongs, you are far too emotional for your own good today," Sirius pointed out, when James came over to his apartment later that afternoon. James was literally pacing a hole in the floor.

"Damn it, I should have been there," he kept muttering under his breath. Sirius was about to call the witch at St. Mungo's and get James a room, when James stopped pacing and looked up.

The expression in his eyes made Sirius think of a waterfall slowing in it's pace. The usually sparkling hazel color had turned as chilling as a frozen acorn.

"Sirius, I have done something for the second time in nine years," James said quietly, his eyes showing that he meant every word he said, "I have fallen in love twice, but with the same woman. How could this happen?" he asked out loud in wonder.

Sirius almost said that it was not that difficult, since Lily had a special charm that James apparently was unable to stand against. He himself was used to the player image he had gotten from school, and still remained unattached.

James was still in shock when the hospital called and said they couldn't seem to get Lily stabilized and that she kept calling 'James'. They felt that in light of the circumstances, he had a right to stay with her while they worked on removing the curse.

Sirius had answered the phone, his expression worried, but when he heard what was going on, he also felt that James need to get to St. Mungo's and watch over Lily.

"I'm a little worried about letting you drive by yourself, you could end up in an accident," he told James, because James looked dead on his feet. The moment James got behind the wheel he would most likely fall asleep.

"I believe that I shall find someone to take you to the hospital. Better that than risking ending your life in an accident."

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_I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do_

_But to give you part 2 of my confession_

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Remus offered to drop James off at St. Mungo's, since he was off to work anyway.

Sirius was relieved because he had been afraid that he would be forced to drive in a car he was not used to.

James however had fallen asleep. Sirius had been worried for good reason. When Remus turned to ask a question, he realized that it had been good wisdom on Sirius's part to suggest someone drive James.

James's cell rang just as they pulled in the hospital parking lot. James jerked awake and answered the phone. His voice sounded exhausted to Remus.

"Yes? I'm sorry, I'm too tired to speak for too long," James said to the person on the other end.

"James? What the hell is the matter with you buddy? You've gone all weird on me," Sirius whined, loud enough for Remus to hear. James winced at the loud tone.

"I feel like I've been drinking all night," James muttered as he hung up the phone.

Remus chuckled. "You sure as hell look like it too," he said as they walked into the hospital.

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_Baby I know we said it's best we don't talk no more _

_But I got to get this off my chest about all the sht I've been _

_hearing babe I, _

_I thought you were that ride or die_

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Voldemort was not happy. He was standing over Malfoy, who was writhing on the floor in pain. "You didn't kill the Mudblood? Why, I wonder, would you do such a thing? Could it be that you have feelings for her?" he was hissing in Malfoy's ear.

Malfoy started yelling in pain as the spell took over his entire frame.

Voldemort seemed to enjoy Malfoy's pain. He continued to laugh as Malfoy screamed.

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_You will never leave my side _

_I even made you out to be the woman that I will be _

_with for life I took in_

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When James entered the room that Lily was in, she seemed to be thrashing about in pain, but no one was near her. As James sat down by her bed, she tried to open an eye.

When she saw who it was, she relaxed and fell asleep.

James listened to her moan his name, asking why he wasn't here, where-ever _here_ was.

He took her hand and placed his head on the chair. He promptly fell asleep.

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_Your kids did everything that you wanted me too _

_Heard about frontin' on radio and the fuse _

_If you were gonna tell it then you told instead of _

_making me the bad guy_

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Lily opened a blurry eye, and sat up. Her head felt like hell had burned her alive.

Her movement also woke James, who sat up as well and looked around him blearily. When he realized where he was, he sat up straight. _I still feel like I was drinking all night_, he thought, because his head pounded.

"James? What are you doing here?" Lily asked as she realized he was sitting next to her.

"Well, you were murmuring in your sleep. The hospital thought that, since you were muttering my name, I ought to be with you," James explained. He had gotten more mature since his years at school and knew how to talk to Lily without stuttering.

Lily blushed. She really was pretty when she did that, he thought, getting a warm feeling when she started to smile.

"Did the hospital tell you anything about what I was muttering?" she asked, covering her shoulders with the blanket.

James wanted to ask what had happened during the night, but he thought about it and decided that talking about it might make her cry, especially since she was carrying his child.

"No they hadn't," he lied, even though he never liked to lie. He had been caught doing that in his seventh year; when he was supposed to be with Lily and studying, he was actually out after hours, with Remus.

"Okay, well," Lily said, trying to get out of bed. Her head started to pound worse than ever. She fell, almost landing on the floor, but James caught her.

She looked into his hazel eyes, feeling disoriented. She still ached from the curse, but the feel of his hands on her arms caused her to pause. She had always loved the feelings he evoked in her, but this time it was different, almost as if he were trying to be gentle.

She rested her head on his chest as he sat down on the bed with her in his lap.

"James, I still love you and I feel sorry that I ever broke off our relationship," she said into his chest as his arms wrapped more securely around her body.

James tilted her chin so that she was looking into his eyes. As he lowered his mouth to hers, she let out a sigh of contentment.

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_If you got nothing good to say then don't say nothing _

_'Cause if I really start talking it'll be something _

_So you cheated, I cheated_

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A/N: okay, well I changed the song to the remix, because I ran out of lyrics for the first song. Oh and if you review, I will update a lot sooner. Please review! And thanks for those who reviewed, I appreciate it.

Serindraxx


	8. Learning a Prophecy

A/N: okay, here's chapter eight, with some of the fifth book mixed in, so if you haven't read the book, you might not want to read this; just a spoiler warning.

Serindraxx

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, except the ones you don't recognize.

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_These are my confessions_

_Just when I thought I said all I can say_

_My chick on the side, said she got one on the way_

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When Lily finally got released from St. Mungo's, James was ecstatic, glad that his baby had survived, and the woman who carried the miracle was alive as well.

Remus pulled Sirius aside and asked him what James was going to do about Michelle. Sirius shrugged with a grin on his face.

When the two returned, Lily was giggling at something James had just said.

"Oy, lovebirds, get a room," Sirius said with amusement in his voice.

"What a wonderful idea, then we can be away from you annoyances," Lily said breathlessly. After that was said, she dragged James away, who was looking more than willing.

"Do you really think we can get them back together?" Sirius asked with a concerned look on his face.

"If not us, then the baby," Remus shrugged.

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xxxxxxxx

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Meanwhile, a couple miles away from the village of Godric's Hollow, Professor Dumbledore was interviewing a new Divination teacher.

When he realized that she obviously didn't possess the Gift, he told her that he didn't think she was suitable for the job.

But just as he turned to leave, Sibyll Trelawney said in a harsh tone, "_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies… And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not… And either must die at the hands of the other, for neither can live as the other survives… The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…"_

He was intrigued, she certainly seemed to have the Gift, but just before he got to tell her she had the job, there was a disturbance outside of the room. When Dumbledore opened the door, Severus Snape was standing there with the barkeep.

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A couple hours later, after Snape told Dumbledore that he was sorry for what he had done and that he had only heard part of the prophecy, Dumbledore let him go.

When Dumbledore was out of sight, Snape Apparated to the graveyard where he told Voldemort the part of the prophecy that he had heard.

"Do you know the baby this prophecy refers to?" Voldemort asked in a cold, lazy voice.

Snape shook his head, regretfully. Or so Voldemort thought.

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A couple days later, a meeting was called. The Order of The Phoenix was a group of people lead by Dumbledore and they worked tirelessly to bring about the downfall of Voldemort.

Lily had been part of the Order since she had left Hogwarts, but she used to come with just Michelle and Serindra. Now she came with James, Sirius and Remus. Peter came by himself, that in itself odd.

When everyone turned up, the Longbottoms included, Dumbledore told them what he had found out the night he had interviewed a new Divination teacher.

He glanced between James, Lily, Alice and Frank. He knew that Alice and Lily were pregnant, but he didn't know when Lily was due. Alice was due around the beginning of August.

When the meeting was adjourned, Dumbledore came over to talk to Lily and James. Remus was standing with them, trying to calm Lily down. Lily hiccupped, and leaned against James, who wrapped his arms around her waist to keep her steady.

When Dumbledore neared them, Remus glanced up and then told Lily and James that Sirius was waiting for him and that he would see them later. Lily nodded and held herself straight.

"So, I hear that you two are expecting," Dumbledore said, and James looked shocked. He hadn't told anyone about her being pregnant.

Dumbledore laughed. "It's not too difficult to see that she's pregnant and besides, Remus told me."

James's mouth formed an 'O' shape. Lily looked at James and laughed. "Close your mouth, you look like a fish out of water," she said, snapping his jaw shut.

"Well, there was a reason I came over here. Do you know when your due date is?"

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When the meeting was adjourned, Peter escaped to the village of Hogsmeade. He had something to tell Voldemort.

He didn't even stay long enough to hear what Lily said for her due date.

"Do you have anything for me?" Voldemort asked coldly.

Peter's whole body shook in fear. He didn't like being talked to in such a cold voice, but he also didn't want to be murdered like Regulus Black, who had only managed to live for about three days.

"Well, I found out that there is more than one baby supposed to be born about that time, My Lord," Peter said, hoping his voice didn't show how nervous he was.

"And?"

"Well, Lily Evans is still alive and she's pregnant. I ran out before I could hear when she's due." Peter cowered after he said that, afraid of Lord Voldemort's wrath. However, all he heard was laughter, and he chanced a glance upward. Voldemort was in a highly cheerful mood.

His plan could still work, even after Malfoy's mistake.

And all he needed to do now was wait.

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_My chick on the side, said she got one on the way_

_These are my confessions, man I'm throwed and _

_I don't know what to do_

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A/N: phew chapter eight is done. Please review, and tell me what you think. If you don't want to do that, then please click on my story multiple times so that my hit counter goes up. And i probably won't have time to update this story during school. I might on the weekends though

Serindraxx


	9. Losing a Friend

**A/N: I keep forgetting to mention in every single one of these Author's notes that I deleted "In Love (wit a stripper)' I didn't like the way it turned out and I'm not resubmitting it. So please do not ask about it. **

_Disclaimer: don't own any of the characters but the ones you don't recognize._

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_Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do_

_Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you_

_'bout that chick on part 1 I told ya'll I was creepin' with, creepin' with_

_Said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it_

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The next few weeks were murder on James because he had to deal with her hormonal changes. Sirius refused to stay with them when this happened. For one thing, Lily tended to yell at everyone even if they didn't do anything to anger her.

James had forced her to stay home from the meetings, because he was afraid that they'd get attacked and he'd lose her again.

He still didn't know what to do about Michelle, because he didn't want to hurt her feelings by breaking up with her. That was one of the good things of having Lily as an ex; Michelle didn't know how much James had changed from just dumping his girlfriends to considering their feelings.

Just then, an owl flew through the window. As James scanned it, his heartbeat quickened. The owl was holding a black envelope sealed with the Ministry of Magic crest.

The owl dropped the letter at his feet, and he picked it up hesitantly. He glanced at the door he had just come through, where Lily was taking a shower.

'Which of our friends has died now?' He wondered. He didn't want to open it till Lily came out, in case he exploded from shock.

Just in that second, he heard the shower stop. In about two minutes Lily came out fully dressed, with the towel wrapped around her red hair.

"What are you holding, James?" she asked, curiously trying to see what the seal was. James glanced at it, and looked back up at her face.

"Oh, this? It's nothing," he said trying to hide it behind his back. Lily gave him that look she had perfected when she knew he was hiding something from her.

After about five minutes of this, he finally backed down and held the letter out to her. "Here, you open it, I don't want to know," he said softly and turned away from her.

He heard the ripping of the envelope and closed his eyes. When he heard her gasp, though, it was the last straw. He turned around and noticed her tears.

The parchment in her hands fell to the floor as he took her into his arms. She quietly sobbed into his shoulder, and he decided to carry her to the couch.

He sat down gingerly after lifting her into his arms. She was sitting on his lap, and still crying her heart out. She finally fell asleep and he set her beside him so he could stand up. He lifted her up, and she quickly wrapped an arm around his neck for a safety precaution. But she was still asleep.

He carried her into her bedroom so she wasn't sleeping on the couch. He then went to pick up the letter.

_Dear Miss Evans,_

_We are sorry to inform you that one of your friends, a Miss Serindra Davis by name, was killed at her place of residence last night at nine PM. We think that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named killed her himself._

_We are terribly sorry for your loss_

_The Ministry of Magic_

James felt the tears prickle behind his eyes. Serindra was the one who had helped him win Lily two years ago. Now she was gone, and he didn't know what to do to comfort Lily.

He decided to start by sending an owl to Headquarters and telling them that an emergency occurred and that he needed to stay with Lily. After that was done, he went back into Lily's room and lay down on her bed, fully clothed, trying to hide the fact that he was feeling tears behind his eyes.

As he removed his glasses, Lily turned around and asked softly, "James, is that you?" he felt her snuggle into him and go back to sleep.

It was going to be an interesting week.

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When Dumbledore received the owl, his eyebrows rose and a look of comprehension appeared on his face. Well, this was an interesting term of events.

He seemed to understand exactly what had just happened. He looked up at the informant still in the office. He nodded his head in approval. His tip was too late, but Snape understood that he had just received high praise from his old Headmaster. One of the last things he wanted right now was praise but he received it none-the-less.

As Snape rose to go, he looked at his old Headmaster's normally twinkling eyes, and realized that they had softened some since the letter had arrived. He nodded gallantly and headed out the door.

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It appeared that the same letter Lily had received had also been sent to Alice and Michelle, because the next morning, both girls had tears in their eyes.

"Why did it have to be Serindra?" the girls mourned, trying to calm themselves down after crying for fifteen minutes. Now Lily was the only one hiccupping and she was trying to control it.

Lily looked up when she felt a hand settle on her shoulder, stroking her back and trying to show her that he cared.

James was looking at her, his normally twinkling hazel eyes bleak.

"J-James, I thought you left," Lily hiccupped. James shook his head.

"I was just in the kitchen, writing a letter to Sirius," he said, sighing and running his hands through his hair.

He glanced at the wall clock and then looked at his watch. He was expecting a letter from Remus sometime soon, and he was hoping to see the owl with Sirius's response.

He glanced down at Lily's hands, which were tangled up together and he felt sorry for her.

He gave her a swift hug and then headed toward the kitchen again. He had just barely made it to the door when Michelle sidestepped around him.

He looked at her, and noticed that her eyes flashed fire.

"What the _hell_ is with you, James? Don't you love me anymore?" she asked with a pout.

James shook his head. This wasn't what he wanted to talk about right now.

"You know, something tells me that you're hiding from me," Michelle said thoughtfully.

Then something clicked in her head. The attack on Lily, her mood swings, James's guilty look, and the looks that passed between them.

James still loved Lily and Lord Voldemort knew it!

"James, is Lily pregnant?"

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_Damn near cried when I got that phone call (call)_

_I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do_

_But to give you part 2 of my confessions_

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**A/N: there's chapter nine. Please review! I would really appreciate it.**

**Serindraxx**


	10. Trusting A Friend

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. I'm just playing with the song and characters

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Man I'm thrown and I don't know what to do

I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions

If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all

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"James, is Lily pregnant?" Michelle asked, tapping her foot on the linoleum.

James gulped. He had been afraid of this. If he told her that Lily was, then Michelle would know he cheated on her, but if he didn't, Michelle wouldn't believe him.

"Yeah, she is," he mumbled after Michelle gave him the eyebrow lift.

Michelle sighed. "So that was why Dumbledore looked at you two at the last meeting we had that both of you came to," she said, shaking her head. 'And that explains the Death-Eaters attack on her,' Michelle thought.

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The funeral was held about two weeks after Serindra had been attacked. Lily still cried every night, but James tried to stay by her side as much as possible. Michelle seemed to understand, and besides she had Sirius almost every day.

James still hadn't decided what to do about his girlfriend, but he was working on it.

Meanwhile, the Order still got useful information from an anonymous tip that Dumbledore refused to divulge. They managed to place a lot of Order members in hiding.

James was having a hard time trying to convince Lily to go into hiding. She refused flat out to go into hiding when things hadn't even been confirmed yet. James was fast losing patience with her and Michelle together.

Michelle couldn't understand why Lily had to go into hiding, but she didn't. Lily didn't understand why James wanted her to go into hiding in the first place. James couldn't understand why neither of them trusted him enough to not ask questions.

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James had decided what he wanted to do. He wanted to marry Lily but he still had a girlfriend to contend with.

Sirius was still in the picture, but he didn't seem to care about how things turned out with James. All Sirius wanted James to do was marry Lily and stop talking about her nonstop.

Finally James talked with Michelle.

He realized after the discussion was closed that Michelle had only agreed to go out with him to get Sirius's attention.

And Michelle had taken it as well as was expected, considering she was going out with his best friend.

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Xxxxxx

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Lily smiled, watching James while he sat at his desk, writing a report to Dumbledore. Everything had been going to plan the way they were supposed to because no one was telling any information. Of course that's what they thought…

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Xxxxx

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Voldemort didn't say anything. He was contemplating the new information he had received.

"Lucius, my friend, it's time to redeem yourself," he whispered, his voice smooth.

"How my lord?" Lucius Malfoy asked, keeping his exterior composed.

Voldemort started to think his plan out, speaking as he did. "My new information has been received of a very reliable source that James Potter has plans to marry a certain redhead that you failed to kill."

Malfoy blanched, afraid to speak. But Voldemort paid him no heed. "He has already announced the news that she is pregnant, something I never thought through. His ex has started going out with Black." Another body shifted, but no one could make out the face.

"What I want you to do, as I find out the date of the wedding, is to crash it and kill both Potter and Ms. Evans at all costs."

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The date was set, and everything else in order. Lily stumbled around trying to fix her hair and get into her dress without damaging it.

Someone knocked on the door and she fell over. "Come in," she said meekly, realizing she couldn't do this on her own.

A head poked around the crack of the door. "Need help?" Remus Lupin asked, smirking.

"Yes," she said.

As he reached around to turn her, he started talking. He talked about their years of Hogwarts, what they were doing now. He told her that James had waited a long time to find someone else when she left. He had obviously been waiting for her to come back.

Alice poked her head around the door about three o'clock and their conversation ceased. It was time.

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A/N: yes, its short but I got major writers block and I have to figure out what to write for the next chapter. Please bear with me here.

Serindraxx


	11. Pain Of The Worst Kind

A/N: you have no idea how hard it was to write this chapter. I had grown attached to the characters. Please review and let me know what you thought but no flames please.

Serindraxx

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters you recognize. The song belongs to Usher and the characters you do recognize belong to J.K. Rowling.

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_These are my confessions  
Just when I thought I said all I can say  
My chick on the side said she got one on the way  
These are my confessions  
Man I'm throwed and I don't know what to do_

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Pain of the worst kind

Lily shuddered as the cold wind blew her clothes this way and that. They were now standing in front of the alter in a way that she knew would cause her mom to roll in her grave. 

Nothing was the way her mom would have wanted the wedding to be. There were no pretty flowers lining the walk, nor was there a church organ playing in the background.

There was a minister of sorts, but not the kind her mom would have wanted to marry her daughter off. 

As they were asked to say their vows, a bang that was not supposed to happen occurred, covering everyone in a cloud of black smoke.

An eerie laugh floated out of the smoke, followed by a scream.

"Lily!" James yelled, not sure where to look for her. Her voice floated back, so she was still there. 

The smoke cleared, leaving no secrets behind. The woman who had screamed was no longer standing. 

Sirius was sitting on the ground next to her, holding her head in his lap. James glanced briefly at her and then did a double take. The woman was Michelle. 

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An angry voice filled the room, and it made everyone cower in fear. 

"She got away, YET AGAIN!" the voice had risen, and so had a few hairs.

"It was impossible to see through your smoke, master!" was the voice of Malfoy. 

Severus Snape stood there, a heavy load taken off his shoulders after hearing what he had thought he heard. She was still alive, but her best friend from school was dying. 

He couldn't do it anymore. He had to go to Dumbledore.

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The wedding party had moved to St. Mongo's so that Michelle could be taken in. None of them knew what spell or curse had been thrown at her so they weren't much help to the medi-wizard in charge. 

"I'm sorry but only close kin and friends may be allowed in and only two at a time," the harried wizard said, standing next to the door.

James glanced at Sirius, whose eyes were bleak, and nodded briefly. 

Sirius entered like he had reached the deathbed of a relative, and sat by her side, taking her hand. 

She moved her head softly and looked at him. She knew something wasn't right when she saw his expression. 

"Is it serious?" she asked quietly. Sirius looked at her. He didn't know how to answer without alerting her.

"Don't worry. I already know. It doesn't matter, as long as I had you."

Sirius closed his eyes, a tear leaking out from under his lids. He had never had her. It had been because she came on to him that he had gone with her at all.

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James looked at Lily, whose eyes were misty with unshed tears.

"She was one of my friends, I can't believe our friendship is almost over," she murmured. 

Sirius came out and sent a sad smile toward Lily. "She wants to see you and James," he said and took a seat.

They both stood up, and James held the door for Lily.

Michelle was lying under the white sheets, looking woebegone and underfed.

"What is happening to you?" Lily asked and took her hand. Michelle shrugged.

"I think the curse took its toll on me," she said softly, looking at James as she spoke. "Take good care of her, James. She is all you are ever going to get," she said, closing her eyes and resting.

James watched, heartbroken, as her breaths slowed and then stopped all together. The monitor above her head started going off.

A medi witch came in and checked her pulse. As her head lifted, she shook it at James, even though he knew she was gone. There was no reason to disbelieve it.

He took Lily into his arms as she gave heart-wrenching sobs. He was going to get the bastard who had done this; no way would the man be allowed to live.

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_guess I gotta give you part 2 of my confessions  
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all  
Damn near cried when I got that phone call  
I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do  
But to give you part 2 of my confessions_

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A/N: I remember that not everyone liked Michelle when they first met her, but she wasn't all that bad. I felt bad having to kill her off. Please be nice since you read this and leave a review!

Serindraxx


	12. Kidnapped?

A/N: sorry about how long it took to update but I got struck with writers' block. Please read this and review it!

Serindraxx

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.

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_I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions_

_If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all_

_Damn near cried when I got that phone call_

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As James and Lily walked out of the room, Sirius glanced up to see their bleak expressions.

"Is she…?" he began, unable to finish as a sob racked his body.

James nodded, and handed Lily over to Remus, who looked unsure as to how he was to handle the situation.

He sat down next to Sirius, shocked to see the new level of maturity in his best friend's eyes. This wasn't his friend from twelve years ago; no it was a person grown up enough to understand what is to be expected of him.

"The last thing she said to me before I came and got you guys was 'It doesn't matter, as long as I had you." And he hadn't had her, not really. He had had an illusion of her.

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The funeral was quiet; not too many people were there. The Marauders and Lily were sitting in the back of the church, away from the body of their best friend.

When it was over, Lily seemed glad to get out of the stuffy church. And she wasn't the only one.

James and Sirius never joked about death. It was one of those things previously agreed upon, after James's and Lily's parents died.

Lily looked up at the clear sky, uncharacteristic to her mood. It wasn't fair, not at all. She wanted all her friends together when she got married, not watching from above.

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"I have decided…"

Everyone looked up at the unexpected voice behind them.

Dumbledore looked around and repeated, "I have decided not to lay low like we first intended."

Lily shook her head in disbelief. Dumbledore had something up his sleeve and she didn't care to hear it, not so soon after her best friend's death.

James glanced at her, realizing again that they weren't married yet. They had had their wedding interrupted when Michelle had fallen.

"What do you want from the rest of us?" Sirius asked, managing to keep his voice steady though everyone sensed his anger.

"Want? What do you mean by that, Mr. Black?" Dumbledore asked, sounding puzzled.

"I don't think any of us are ready to go out there after only a week of missing Michelle," Lily said, and sounding very sure of herself. James looked at her in admiration.

Sirius and everyone who had been there for Lily and James's wedding nodded, each understanding in his or her own way exactly what that would mean if things changed.

Only one person did nothing in the face of his friends' feelings, and he scampered as soon as it became clear his cover could be blown.

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Voldemort nodded, his expression thoughtful. Severus shivered as the cold malice in the air became unmistakable.

"So… they are finally doing something are they?" he murmured, crooning to his snake.

Peter Pettigrew nodded, too frightened to speak for too long. He didn't like having to be the spy for Voldemort but it couldn't be helped. It would most likely be the last thing he did anyway.

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"Okay, explain to me why we are on guard duty tonight of all nights, and so soon after the death of my girlfriend?" James asked, even though Michelle hadn't been his girlfriend when she died.

Lily shrugged, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and sighing in pain. She had forgotten about the cracked ribs she had sustained when fighting off Voldemort the last time he showed up.

James looked at her, concern showing on his face.

She waved him off and continued to stare straight ahead. It was getting cold and she wanted to get guard duty over with.

Just as she opened her mouth to say this to James, her heart froze. Standing in front of them, broad as the tree they were hiding behind, was a man wearing a hood over his eyes.

"So the little spy was right," he said, his voice menacing. Twirling his hand and walking away, Lily felt herself being picked up bodily and an old pillowcase was forced over her head.

From the sounds going on around her, she judged that James had been forced to wear a pillowcase too.

Oh, please, she thought, let someone come for us.

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The day was almost over when Sirius looked at Remus. "They've been gone an awfully long time," he said, worry written on his face.

Remus looked at the clock and then at his watch. It had been an awfully long time. Maybe something had happened and they had forgotten to call.

But just as he started to say this, the phone rang. He got up and answered it.

The worried voice of Alice Longbottom reached his ears. Where was Lily and why wasn't she calling? Wasn't it bad enough that they had already lost Michelle and Serindra? Was Lily trying to get herself killed too?

"Alice, slow down. We don't know where they are and we haven't heard from them either."

"You haven't heard from them? I wonder what went wrong," Alice mused, said goodbye and hung up.

"Now I'm getting worried," Remus said out loud.

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Meanwhile, James had managed to get his hood off and was taking a look around. They were in a basement, it looked like.

He looked around to see if he could find Lily. He hadn't heard a peep out of her since the guard had told her to shut up.

"Lily where are you?" he whispered. And then he saw and heard movement from the corner.

"If anyone hurt you, Lily, I will personally bash their heads in," he vowed.

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_These are my confessions_

_Just when I thought I said all I could say_

_My chick on the side said she got one on the way_

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A/N: okay, what do you think of the update? I hope you liked it. Please review and let me know; but no flames.

Serindraxx


	13. Alive

A/N: okay, this is chapter thirteen for Confessions, and I need some input on the chapter. There is going to be more than one part for this though so look forward to it.

Serindraxx

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. Though I wish I did…

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_Third thing was me wishin' _

_That I never did what I did_

_How I ain't ready for no kid _

_And bye bye to our relationship_

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That night, as Sirius lay in his long empty bed, thoughts of love, confusion and worry danced through his head. His friends were missing, his girlfriend was gone and he didn't have anybody else he really cared enough about…

As that thought faded, he sat up, the pounding in his head increasing. Because he realized there was somebody he cared about besides his girlfriend. And he was staying in that person's house.

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The call came from an unknown source, but the Aurors knew that the only way to decide if the caller was telling the truth was to go and check it out.

They also knew that it was likely to be a set-up…

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The light coming from the staircase was disconcerting, but Lily squinted her eyes against the glare. James stirred next to her, and sat up.

Remus looked down as he heard movement from the corner, and flicked his wrist to catch the others' attention.

Mad-Eye looked around, trying to detect a trap with his bad eye. When he felt that it was safe to continue, he nodded his head.

The Aurors behind him flooded the basement, checking on the prisoners' pulses and clearing room to carry them out.

Lily was shaking her head and started pointing toward the staircase. Remus took the hint and looked over his shoulder, suddenly feeling his blood run cold.

Death eaters were flooding the room with barely a pop. Just as Remus made to warn everyone around him, the red streak of light caused him to blank out.

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It had been two weeks since they got out of the hospital and one week since James had come to stay over because of her dreams.

Remus and Sirius stayed over every once in a while but it wasn't very often, because they said that they 'can't stomach the sight of you two being all lovey-dovey in front of us.'

Lily woke up in the middle of the night and looked over her shoulder to see if her boyfriend was still there.

When she saw that he was, she got out of bed to get a glass of water.

Her body was aching all over but she managed to walk over to the sink. She filled a glass and walked back to the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

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The sunlight filtered into the room, leaving a strange pattern on the floor and hitting Lily's eyes. She covered her eyes with the crook of her arm.

She rolled over, and her back suddenly thudded into a disconcerting male body; a very naked male body…

She groaned as events of the last two days came flooding back. Just as she sat up, a fluttering in her stomach caused her to drop her hand protectively over the slight bulge. It wasn't the first time that the 'baby' had moved, but it still caused her to pause.

A hand came crawling from under the sheets and wrapped around her waist, slight pressure pulling her backwards. Her back hit the mattress and she burst into laughter.

A tousled mop of hair appeared and a pair of sleepy eyes looked at her in confusion. "What are you laughing about?" he asked, running a hand over her arms.

"I think it was just the shock of having you in my bed…" she said, murmuring as he kissed her cheek.

He looked up. "Tell me what you want," he whispered, resting his hands on her hips.

She wrapped her arms around his neck in pulled him to her, whispering softly so that he was the only one to hear…

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Christmas had come and gone, leaving a feeling of desolation in its midst; Michelle, usually the life of the party, was gone and Sirius was taking the loss rather harder than Lily.

The office was quiet when James entered, and he wanted so badly to call the secretary in so that he could get away.

Just as he resolved to stick it out, an owl appeared and took the choice out of his hands.

Potter,

There was another Deatheater attempt and this time, we were too late. We require you to come and help to clean up the mess,

Mad-Eye Moody.

James dropped the parchment, not sure he even wanted to go answer the summons. What if…?

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The laughter coming from the corner made him cringe. He didn't like this at all…

"Severus, get over here and tell me what you have heard," the cold voice said, growing colder with time.

Severus gulped, shaking slightly as he walked forward, but tried to keep his head up. He repeated what he had heard, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

"Excellent," the dark lord hissed, running his fingers over his snake in pleasure.

"And the attack?"

"It's being undergone right now, my lord," Snape said, his voice cracking slightly.

"Excellent," said the dark lord again, "excellent."

Snape shivered again, and turned to leave. "Oh and Snape, would you mind sending in Bellatrix, I need to talk to her again about her failure to kill that Mudblood."

Snape nodded curtly and walked out, letting his cloak swirl around his legs.

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_These are my confessions_

_Just when I thought I said all I could say_

_My chick on the side said she got one on the way_

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A/N: okay, I know you all have been anxiously awaiting this chapter. Only a few more to go peoples! Yeah I know, depressing but all stories must come to an end and I think this one is soon. Five to six more left to go I think. Let me know what you think please!

Serindraxx


	14. Punishment

Disclaimer: I don't own anything…

Shameless plug: I just submitted a story that Albe-Chan and I co-wrote. It's called 'A Girl After His Heart,' and I would love it if you read and reviewed it!

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_Man I'm thrown and I dont know what to do_

_I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions_

_If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all_

_Damn near cried when I got that phone call_

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The sight of all the blood caused James to stop for a second and _breathe_. The smell was unbearable. He glanced at the faces, recognizing a lot of them; students that he had gone to school with, acquaintances that he had just met. They were all far too young to die this way.

He couldn't believe that a massacre this big hadn't gone to news yet. It was horribly familiar to him…

_She was lying face-up, an arm covering the worst of her wounds. Sirius was sitting next to her, holding her head in his lap. The tear-track down his face told James as much as was needed to said. _

"_James…" she moaned, as soon as his face came into view. His automatic reaction was to leave Sirius with her and go get a medical technician from St. Mungo's, but he pushed that thought out of his mind. He had to get her there immediately._

_The swarming around him told James that he had to carry her or risk losing sight of her…_

He shook his head, pushing the memory to the back of his mind and folding his sleeves back from his hands.

"Let's get this place cleaned up," he said to the crew he had brought with him.

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Lily woke up to the sun in her eyes and an owl tapping on her bedroom window.

She got up, groaning from the weight in front of her, and opened the window, recognizing the owl.

As soon as the window was open, the owl came in, carrying a hastily tied letter on its leg.

'Lily,

If you are just waking up, and not out getting into trouble, please don't worry about me. I'm still on call at the ministry, even though I'd rather wake up next to you. Moody sent me a note, and I got to worrying. Please just stay at the apartment and don't open the door to anyone,

James.'

She sat down, a wave of vertigo striking her suddenly. The feeling in her legs seemed to have given way to jelly.

"Oh, James," she said out loud, "be safe."

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Bella struggled to get up, her legs numb from the beating she had received. She continued to kneel in front of him, not groveling like some of the other pathetic bastards who served him. She took her punishment without comment, not even giving him the pleasure of screaming.

"Pathetic," she heard from behind her.

She would have turned her head, but the pain floating up her spine caused her to pause.

"You must have given her a doozy, my lord," said another voice, sneering slightly.

"A doozy?" said a colder voice, one that sent tingles up and down her spine, "Whatever do you mean by that, Lucius?"

Malfoy paused, not wanting to end up in the same spot Bella was. He'd had experience there; only for Bella, it was probably a little more pleasurable.

Everyone knew how Bella felt about Voldemort, even though she was married. The marriage probably wasn't going to last long though.

Bella looked up at him, and he wasn't surprised by the expression in her eyes. She had looked like that when she first met Voldemort and a little punishment wasn't likely to change her opinion of him.

"Lucius, I'm waiting," Voldemort said, coldly, running his hand over her exposed spine, and causing her to shiver slightly.

Lucius stopped talking, shivering in disgust as she looked at Voldemort with ecstasy on her face. The pain couldn't have been that terrible…

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_These are my confessions_

_Just when I thought I said all I could say_

_My chick on the side said she got one on the way_

_These are my confessions_

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A/N: okay, I honestly expected this to be a little better than it turned out, but it is chapter fourteen of Confessions, short or not. I hope you enjoy my first tryst into Bellatrix/Voldemort. I might elaborate later on, just not in this fic. It would ruin the storyline. Review please?

Serindraxx


	15. Regrets

Disclaimer: I don't own anything…

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_I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do_

_But to give you part 2 of my confessions_

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Sitting with her back to the door, curled up in as deep a pile of blankets as she could get, Lily didn't hear the apartment door slam shut.

In fact, the first inkling that she had of visitors was the creak of the staircase as someone came bounding up.

"Lily!" the excited note in James's voice was unmistakable. She quickly untangled herself from the blankets and ran to the door.

Almost as soon as the door was opened, she was in his arms… back in the place where she was meant to be.

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Sirius was sleeping, but it wasn't really dreamless like the potion bottle said it would be. He was remembering the day that Michelle died, ripping out the only piece of his heart that he had.

He watched her die all over again; saw the look on her face as she slipped away from under his fingers.

He started sobbing, holding his face in his hands, not realizing that he was really crying. A hand reached out to him, touching his face gently, and for a second he believed she was back.

A voice whispered in his head, "You have too much to live for; don't grieve for me, I'm in a better place now."

He awoke slowly, jerking slightly when he realized that he wasn't alone but he wasn't with Michelle.

Sometime during the night, Remus had crawled into bed with him, giving Sirius the sense of comfort and love.

Sirius sighed, closed his eyes again, and wrapped his arms around Remus, knowing that he was still needed.

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Peter felt alone. His friends never had time for him; they were all too wrapped up in their own lives to notice that he had slipped away, that he wasn't hanging out with them anymore. It was almost as if they never really cared for him the way they said they did.

He curled up in his bed, and let the tears flow for the last time.

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Remus had woken up to the sound of crying coming from Sirius's bedroom. It had been quite some time since he heard that.

The sound was heart-wrenching and he couldn't stop the tears from falling down his face.

Wrapping himself in a robe lying at the foot of his bed, he walked as quietly to Sirius's room as he could.

Seeing the tearstains on his friend's pillow, Remus sighed softly, walked to the bed, and ran a gentle hand over Sirius's face.

Just as gently, he lifted the blankets and climbed in, careful not to hit his friend with his cold feet.

Wrapping his arm around Sirius, Remus fell asleep, feeling comfortable.

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Severus shivered slightly in his ragged cloak, not wanting to drag any attention to himself. He was hanging out by Lily's apartment building, knowing that she wasn't likely to want to see him.

She was with James Potter now, she was pregnant with Potter's child, and she was obviously happy.

Severus wasn't going to spoil that, but he was going to make sure that she had the best protection he could offer her; Dumbledore was going to watch out for her.

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Albus Dumbledore stood in his office, mulling over recent events, trying to see the connection. Someone on his side had obviously turned, otherwise how was Tom getting his information?

Absentmindedly, he ran a gentle finger over Fawkes the Phoenix, just now reborn from the ashes below.

Would he still feel the same way again about someone he loved and trusted?

His little sister came to mind, just a memory now, but a hurtful one as well. She was so young when she was taken from him, so young. If only he could stop someone else from dying in the same manner.

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_I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do_

_But to give you part 2 of my confessions_

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A/N: okay I updated. This chapter was going through my head so I had to type it and submit it. I hope you liked it enough to keep reading and review?

Serindraxx


	16. Birth

Disclaimer: I do not own anything…

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Damn near cried when I got that phone call

I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do

But to give you part 2 of my confessions

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A couple months had gone by since James's brief separation with Lily, and he felt as though he were floating.

Lily was due any day now; they had finally managed to get married despite the tragedies striking them right and left.

The summer was going by so fast.

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The last day of July, Lily was lying on her bed by herself; her body was already so bulky that she couldn't get up on her own.

The first warning she had that she was in trouble was the pain in her lower abdomen.

James had promised that she could just send her Patronus to him and he would be right there.

She sat up and clutched tightly at her lower body. "This can't go on forever, baby," she muttered, searching for her wand.

When her hand landed on her wand, she was already in so much pain. "Expecto Patronum," she said, panting from the effort.

The doe disappeared, and she lay back down, her forehead sticky with sweat.

All she could do was wait.

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James was in the middle of paperwork when the doe entered his line of sight.

She seemed aggravated and kept shaking her head urgently.

_Lily_, he thought. Leaping up, he rushed out of the office, running down the empty hall. It was, after all, after closing.

He was so nervous, he doubted he would have been able to reach his home without splinching.

Suddenly spinning on the spot, he thought quickly of his address and disappeared, landing awkwardly on his front step.

"Lily!" he shouted, slamming the door open and running up the steps to the bedroom he shared with her.

She was lifting her head listlessly as he entered the bedroom, and seemed almost relieved to see him.

"James," she whispered, "I don't think we're going to have time to get to the hospital."

He panicked. "B-but I can't deliver babies," he stammered, running a hand nervously through his hair.

She nodded her head in agreement, but seemed to decide something at that moment. "Find a midwife," she said, her voice sounding stronger with her conviction.

He quickly turned on the spot, imagining St. Mungo's as he did.

He skidded to a stop before he fell over. "My wife is in labor," he hollered, trying to make himself heard over the busyness of the hospital.

Just as he started to despair, Molly Prewitt, now Weasley, ran down the hall. Her red hair was held back in a braid running down her back. She seemed almost willing to help as much as possible.

"The doctors are all busy," she confided to a relieved James, "But I've had six kids of my own, so I can see how much help I can be."

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Meanwhile, another Order member, Alice Longbottom, an acquaintance of Lily's, was in labor at that same moment.

She was already in the hospital when James Apparated in a panic. Frank heard the commotion outside of the birthing room and went to investigate. "My wife is in labor," he heard and recognized the voice immediately.

_So, James is expecting today too huh?_ he thought, and ran down the hallway to see if he could find someone to help James.

He almost ran over little Molly Weasley, who was going in the opposite direction. "James Potter needs you I think," Frank said, looking back over his shoulder at her.

She nodded her head and took off at a hard run.

_There's my good deed for the day, he thought._

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_At almost eleven o'clock PM, little Harry Potter was born, without the scar that would later appear. Both his parents agreed later on, within the first few months of his life, that he was definitely going to make history. They just didn't know how big._

_Sirius Black, now named Harry's godfather in case something happened that James and Lily couldn't control, came over more often than ever just to visit and play with Harry._

"_He's going to put you to shame, James," he said, one evening as Harry started his first walk across the living room floor. _

"_Whatever gives you that idea?" James asked._

_Sirius shrugged. "Just the way he's moving from one thing to another," he answered. _

_Lily laughed, taking hold of her husband's hand and sitting in his lap._

"_Oh get a room you two," Sirius said mockingly, but jokingly. James just stuck his tongue out and continued nuzzling his wife's neck._

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_Damn near cried when I got that phone call_

_I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do_

_But to give you part 2 of my confessions_

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_A/N: okay, now there was a little miscalculation on my part. Instead of this having eighteen chapters its only going to have seventeen. Next chapter is actually the epilogue. Thanks for sticking with me for so long! I hope you enjoyed it. Now make me happy and leave a review!_

_Serindraxx_


	17. Epilogue: The End of It All

Disclaimer: I do not own anything…

EPILOGUE

The murder site was eerily quiet, the snow just barely covering the house.

As the usually silent tread of footsteps made crunching sounds on the already snowy ground, a tear was found in the man's eyes.

A baby cried from somewhere in the wreckage. The man looked up, his beard swinging in the cold wind.

"Sirius, how could you?" he murmured. "I thought you loved them…"

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Looking down from above, her eyes bewildered, Lily Potter watched her son until Albus Dumbledore came to take him away. Then she closed her eyes and was enfolded in her husband's arms.

"He'll be okay, Lils," James murmured in her red hair, while she cried her poor heart out.

"Do you think Dumbledore will ever discover that Sirius is innocent?" she asked, wiping her eyes.

James swallowed, trying to protect Lily from the awful truth: that all the facts were pointing toward Sirius; the way he tried to give Hagrid the motorbike that was his prized possession, the fact that James and Lily had chosen him as their secret keeper.

Yes, they were probably going to see Sirius very soon…

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Severus Snape sat in horror, having just realized that he had signed Lily's death warrant. His eyes had reached shock level.

Standing up, he grabbed the coat he had gotten from Lily on his fifteenth birthday and Apparated himself away. Voldemort wasn't coming back anyway.

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Handing over his cycle had to have been the stupidest thing he could have done, Sirius thought as he reached the murder site. He could have been there hours ago; he could have helped to pull his best friends' bodies out of the wreck.

Instead he was searching for Peter. The murdering wretch was going to get what was coming to him, of that Sirius was sure.

Turning a corner, not watching where he was going, Sirius ran into a small body lying in the snow.

Turning his head and seeing that the street behind him was bustling with activity in the early morning, Sirius shrugged and looked at the pitiful body of his once-best friend and prepared to pull his wand out of his coat pocket.

The body sprang up, a wand already brandished. "Lily and James, Sirius," he sobbed, but Sirius was sure he was faking it, "how could you?"

And before Sirius could do anything, the wand was flourished and half the street behind him was blown apart.

The screaming haunted him as he sat in that cold Azkaban cell, alone.

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A/N: yes this is the end. Sad isn't it? Well it's my last ditch chance at reviews so please… PLEASE… review!

Serindraxx


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